


Antiquities and Curiosities

by useyourtelescope (thedreamygirl)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Lois Lane: Fallout - Gwenda Bond
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Case Fic, Gen, Misses Clause Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-16 05:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13047927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedreamygirl/pseuds/useyourtelescope
Summary: Lois hadn't been interested in signing up to one of the places on the school trip to a museum in Gotham. Not until there was an intriguing case at the nearby art gallery involving Gotham's mysterious vigilante, and she realised it was a good opportunity to investigate.Still, she hadn't expected to meet Batman.





	Antiquities and Curiosities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ancarett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancarett/gifts).



> This fic diverges from canon after the 2nd book in the series; set a couple of months after the end of it.  
> Many thanks to my beta, htbthomas.
> 
> Happy Yuletide, ancarett! I had a lot of fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it.

“Ms. Lane? Where exactly are you going?”

Lois swivelled around slowly on the heels of her boots to face her teacher. With what she hoped was a casual smile, Lois replied, “Just need to use the ladies, Ms. Smits.”

Ms. Smits raised her perfectly arched eyebrows as she folded her arms over her crisp pantsuit jacket. “There’s another one this way you can use,” she said, gesturing to the corridor where some of their group had already started heading. The opposite direction to where Lois wanted to go. Sure enough, there was a sign indicating that restrooms could be found there. “You should stick with the group so you don’t get lost.”

Nodding, Lois adjusted her bag on her shoulder and re-joined the rest of the group. That was Plan A thwarted, then.

It was just her luck to get caught trying to sneak out by the sharpest of their chaperones. Lois would have far preferred to put her disappearing act into action near Mr. Fowler, if only she’d had the opportunity. Her studies of the museum map had clearly shown this hall was ideally located to enable Lois’ purpose for coming on the school trip in the first place. She’d had to take her chance when she’d seen it, but now she would need to resort to Plan B for getting out of this building.

Not that Lois didn’t think the museum was interesting. There seemed to be some cool stuff housed in Gotham Museum of Antiquities, at least from the glances she’d taken while scoping the rooms out, and the few times she’d paid attention to their museum guide. A day trip to Gotham could be nice; then she’d get a chance to really look around the museum. Mom had been suggesting they do more family activities together on a weekend if Dad was free, but Lois and her sister Lucy had both resisted the idea so far. She wasn’t against spending time with her family or anything, but she didn’t want to be forced.

Today she had other plans. Lois had only signed up for this school trip for one reason: Batman.

There were also the highly suspicious dealings of Batman’s recent rivals, a dangerous art smuggling ring, if the Gotham Gazette was to be believed. (Maybe two reasons, then.)

There _definitely_ was a rivalry between Gotham Gazette and The Daily Planet, Metropolis’ leading paper. Since Lois worked for their teen section, The Daily Scoop, she had heard some of the Planet staff joking it wasn’t a competition when the Planet was always coming out ahead of them in sales. Perry said the numbers didn’t matter, good journalism did. So, no one at the Planet had been pleased when the Gazette had outshone them on both since the week the first Batman story had made the press. Metropolis had been home to a few extraordinary stories since Lois and her family had moved there, but it was hard to compete with an actual vigilante. (Even if Lois personally didn’t think that was quite as impressive as the mystery flying man.)

The people on Lois’ regular message board _Stranger Skies_ had been briefly dazzled by Batman, but once it became clear he didn’t have any enhanced abilities, most of the board had lost interest. Now there was only just one thread that regularly discussed Batman. Lois didn’t make any posts there with her online handle ScepticGirl1, but she did use it as a source for keeping up to date with the vigilante’s latest exploits. Her friend SmallvilleGuy did the same too.

More like her boyfriend. She _hoped_ boyfriend. It hadn’t been that long since they’d finally talked about their feelings. Lois had been relieved – and thrilled – to discover they were on the same page, but they hadn’t officially labelled things yet. It was a little difficult when you lived miles away from each other, and hadn’t even met in person yet. Not to mention the fact that SmallvilleGuy was still too secretive to tell her his real name.

With a huff, Lois put that out of her mind as she navigated the group to find Maddy. Her friend and fellow Scoop journalist hadn’t been particularly eager to go to the museum, but Lois had talked her into signing up for this school trip as backup for the story. After all, someone would need to write the piece about the museum trip they’d promised to include in Scoop, but Lois couldn’t take many notes once she was out getting the _real_ story.

“Sorry,” Maddy mouthed once Lois was by her side.

Lois shrugged. She knew Maddy had tried her best to divert their teachers’ attention from her escape attempt. They moved with the crowd and soon enough they were passing the next set of restrooms. Lois gave Maddy the signal and slipped into the ladies’ toilets.

The bathroom was surprisingly quiet considering there was at least one other school group at the museum, along with Metropolis High, but Lois immediately went to check on the three cubicles to make certain they were empty. She had just glanced into the first when she caught sight of Maddy’s t-shirt in the mirror, today’s slogan – Curious Kittens – blaring back at her in large red reverse capitals, as Maddy stared at Lois from just inside the door. Lois paused considering, and then stepped aside wordlessly so Maddy could move into the cubicle.

“What?” Maddy whispered.

Lois crinkled her nose, gesturing with her hand. “Didn’t you need the toilet?”

“No,” Maddy said immediately, eyebrows furrowing. “You gave me the signal.”

Lois frowned. “To _pee_?” Was that even on the signal list?

Maddy rolled her eyes. “ _No_. To follow you.”

“No, I didn’t,” Lois argued, “I gave you the signal to keep an eye on Ms. Smits.”

“What?”

Before either of the girls could say any more, the door opened and someone else walked into the bathroom, shutting them both up. Lois didn’t know the girl’s name, but she recognised her as one from their school, maybe the year below theirs. The girl appeared puzzled by their locations, but just gave them a shy smile before walking widely around them to use the middle cubicle.

Lois quickly checked the final one near the wall was empty and then, after a backwards glance at Maddy – with a look her friend could hopefully interpret – she slipped into the cubicle.

She sat on top of the closed lid and decided to quickly check her phone while waiting this girl out. As expected, there weren’t any new messages. Lois then signed into the secure messenger app installed on her phone that she used to chat with SmallvilleGuy. She smiled when she saw he had sent a few more since she’d signed off while they’d been on the bus.

**ScepticGirl1:** We’re nearly there so might not be able to message for a bit. Will let you know what I find.

**SmallvilleGuy:** Okay. Good luck!

**SmallvilleGuy:** And I know how much you want to break this story, but if Batman really is up against that gang it could be dangerous to go back there. Please be careful.

It was sweet how he worried about her. The sounds of the other student flushing and going to wash her hands told Lois she needed to get ready to make her next move so that Plan B wouldn’t go the same way as Plan A. She fired off a quick message before slipping the phone back in her bag.

**ScepticGirl1:** Always am ;)

The bathroom was empty when Lois left the cubicle, and finally scoped out the thankfully unbarred window next to the hand dryers. It wasn’t as good an exit as the fire escape door she had wanted to slip out through, but at least it was roomy.

The latch on the window slipped open easily, so she didn’t need to consult the lock picking device she’d manage to borrow from her father’s study. She was a bit concerned when the window wouldn’t open all the way up, but Lois thought she would still be able to wriggle her way through.

In the end, she didn’t have to. Lois had barely stuck her head out of the window when she noticed something unexpected in the one directly on her left, which she presumed led into the boy’s toilets located just next door.

There was a pair of legs dangling out of it.

Before Lois could start to wonder why someone was trying to secretly shimmy their way _into_ a building that she was busy trying to get leave, she realised that wrapped around the black covered legs was what appeared to be the ends of a cape.

 

**ScepticGirl1:** I just saw Batman!!

 

* * *

 

The story in the Gazette had gone like this: Two weeks ago, Batman had foiled a robbery at Gotham’s Art Gallery. However, despite retrieving the painting, the thieves themselves had eluded him. It had been the first time since Batman’s appearance, little more than a month ago, that a crook he’d gone up against had managed to escape. So, the initial coverage in the Gazette, and everywhere else that followed it up, had focused on that – Batman’s first failure, someone had called it, however partial.

Lois was more interested in the painting.

She was no art buff, but multiple experts had confirmed that the painting the thieves had tried to run off with was worth very little, by someone totally unknown. The general theory was that Batman had caught them at the start of their raid, and all they’d managed to lay their hands on was this randomly worthless one before they had to flee.

But it seemed weird that they wouldn’t have just started with something more valuable – especially if the culprits were the art smuggling ring that most people in Gotham were blaming for the attempted theft. They may have been quiet for a while, but surely they still knew which art was worth their time.

Lois didn’t have enough information to take her hunch much further though without going to Gotham, and tagging onto the school trip seemed like the perfect opportunity. Especially since the Art Gallery happened to be only a five-minute walk away from the Museum.

Plus, news had felt a little slow in Metropolis ever since Lois had helped to take down a crime boss and corrupt Mayor. Art theft wouldn’t normally have perked her interest this much, but if the case was good enough for Gotham’s vigilante, it was good enough for this reporter.

Still, she’d never expected to meet him. (Not so soon anyway.)

 

“Bit conspicuous, aren’t you? In that get-up?”

Batman’s frown had been constant ever since she’d first seen his face – or, rather the portion of it that was still exposed through his mask – tilted up at her, attached to the torso hanging out the window. She’d abandoned Plan B, and left the girls bathroom the normal way before slipping into the next door, taking the chance that the guys toilets would be empty if the caped crusader was trying to make his way into them. However, he had not been happy to see her and practically harrumphed at her offer of help.

Once he’d pulled himself through, and rolled to a standing position (something that might have seemed more impressive if the floor of the guy’s toilets hadn’t been wet and gross) he’d held a finger to his lips and tried to shoo her off before leaving. She _was_ impressed with how well he’d made his exit, managing to slip into the corridor (much quieter than it was, but not empty) and into another door unnoticed. Lois hadn’t seen that door before, focused as she was on leaving, but she remembered the shape of the hall behind it well enough to know there was more than a little closet behind there.

Naturally, she followed him, managing to get to the room before he’d been able to lock the door.

The continuous frown seemed to deepen further before he finally stopped moving around the room, which appeared to be a small, messy office. Batman folded his arms, levelling her with his intense gaze. If Lois was honest, she thought Ms. Smits’ stare earlier was more intimidating. “I have a disguise for a reason.”

“Yeah, but I imagine the whole…mask and cape thing works a lot better at night. It’s 11.30. _AM_ ,” she stressed.

Lois couldn’t tell for certain but he seemed to roll his eyes. “I am aware,” he said, flat in that weirdly gravelly voice he had. Lois kind of wanted to record it as proof, but she didn’t think Batman would appreciate that.

“So, you didn’t think it would be a good idea to maybe dress down? I’m a reporter and when I do recon, I try to make sure I blend in.”

“We’re not the same,” he dismissed, and then with a jerk, returning to rifling through papers. Almost like he’d realised he’d stopped what he was doing to argue with her.

Lois moved to start searching through a nearby filing cabinet. She didn’t know what she was searching for yet, but that wasn’t going to stop her. “If you tell me what exactly you’re looking for,” Lois said, “I could be a lot more help.”

“I have a job to do, and I don’t need a kid getting in my way.”

Lois’ hackles went up immediately. “I’m not a kid,” she retorted, hoping she sounded more angry than petulant. “Is this to do with the theft at the art gallery?” She had thought any repeat crime would lead to another attempt at the gallery, but maybe Batman had information she didn’t that suggested a break-in at the museum.

“Averted theft,” he replied, automatic.

“Right. You think they’re going to hit the museum next?”

He didn’t spare her a glance, still studying the papers on the desk. “I _think_ that it’s about time you went back to school, Miss.”

Lois didn’t rise to the bait this time. “I’m a journalist; I work for the Daily Planet.” It was mostly true. She wasn’t ashamed of working for Scoop, but she knew the Planet sounded more impressive.

“Didn’t realise the Planet hired teenagers.” Before Lois could reply he added, “So what story were you doing recon for in the boy’s toilets?”

“Yours. The cape and boots were a little hard to miss – especially when they were stuck.”

The frown turned into a scowl now. “And how did you get back in the building so quickly?”

She rolled her eyes. “I looked out the window when I – heard a noise,” Lois lied.

“Hmmm,” he murmured.

At first, Lois thought it was a response to her comment, but after a moment she realised he was looking intently at the piece of paper before him. She left her filing cabinet to creep behind him and read the piece of paper over his shoulder. The photograph clipped to the page appeared to depict an amulet, but Lois couldn’t read the small text very well from this angle. That cape sure cast a shadow over proceedings. Very slowly she moved her phone up and did her best to take a picture of the page.

It turned out not to be subtle enough as Batman jerked away, snatching the paper up with him, and whirling around to face her. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

“Documenting the evidence. You know, if you give me your email I can send you the photo. Would save you holding onto the paper?”

“Nice try.”

It was worth a shot. “So that amulet,” she began, putting her phone back in her pocket, “what’s so special about it? Do you think someone’s going to steal it?”

“You shouldn’t be getting mixed up in this,” he said, sternly, the way her Dad did when he told her off. Patronising much, since in the flesh Batman seemed pretty young himself (although, admittedly, older than a high schooler). He clearly noticed she was about to argue as he continued, “Kid, trust me.”

“And trust _me_ ,” she retorted, “I can handle a little art theft.”

“This isn’t some school playground ‘who stole somebody’s lunch money’ affair. This is _serious_. I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe.”

Lois was underwhelmed by this little speech. After all, she had uncovered a scheme that involved an actual _clone_ , and she hadn’t read anything about Batman’s adventures that came quite as close to crazy as that. The clone part of the story wasn’t public knowledge, but she wasn’t above bringing up the rest of it. Hands on her hips, she stood her ground. “Oh, have you taken down a mob boss and his cronies yet?”

He paused then, and Lois felt pleased to have surprised him. He followed it up by surprising her with the comment, “You must be Lois Lane.” When she blinked, he continued, “I read your article, about Moxie.” Any pride she might have felt to have been recognised by Batman, was quickly doused when he continued, “But this isn’t a case for you, Ms. Lane. Now, I need to get back to work, and you should go back to school.”

“Technically, the only one working here is me. I mean, I am working for the paper,” she elaborated at his glare, “but you’re just…trespassing.”

His eyes narrowed, an effect made a little weirder thanks to the mask. “I don’t think the museum staff would take kindly to you being in this office; even less so if they knew you worked for a paper.”

She couldn’t argue with that, but she could point out, “And what are they going to think if they find you in here?” Just because Batman had been stopping crime, that didn’t mean everyone trusted him yet, and they both knew it. “If you tell me what’s going on, I could help you.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t have time to argue with you.”

Lois bit her lip to prevent a smile. “So, you’re just going to fill me in on the plan?”

He ignored her in favour of taking a painting off the wall. Lois gaped when she realised there was a small safe hidden in the wall behind it, the door padlocked shut. Batman reached for something on his belt, but Lois beat him to it, producing the lock-picking kit from her bag.

“I got it,” she said, starting on the lock.

“That looks military-grade,” he observed. “How did you get it?”

It probably wasn’t that hard for someone to figure out her Dad was NSA, but Lois just quipped, “I can’t reveal my sources.”

He was rolling his eyes, when the there was a clicking sound as the lock came ajar. Lois moved her hand back and let him open the door, excited to see what lay inside the safe.

“A file?” she noted, unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice. In a Museum of Antiquities Lois had been hoping for something more visually arresting. But maybe there was something important in that file.

“It’s not here,” Batman growled.

“What?” Lois asked. Then, noticing the way his hand was scrunching up the paper from earlier, she added, “The amulet?”

“They’ve taken it already.”

“Who? How did you know the amulet was supposed to be in the safe? And an amulet doesn’t seem like your art gang’s usual MO.”

“It’s not –” He stopped moving towards the safe abruptly, before craning his neck towards the closed office door. While Batman pressed a few buttons on his belt, Lois took the opportunity to take a few photographs of the file’s contents.

“Hear anything?” Lois asked, surmising from his actions that he had some sort of enhanced hearing device.

He shushed her so she took another, clearer, photograph of the paper about the amulet, as well as some of the other paperwork on the desk.

“Someone’s coming,” he said suddenly. “We need to leave.”

Hastily, Lois shut the safe, before Batman replaced the painting and they both ran over to the door. After peering out a crack in the door, he gestured for Lois to leave first, which she did. Thinking only about covering her tracks, Lois moved to stand by some other school kids looking at a display case further down the room so that she’d blend in.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lois monitored the activity on her left: the swish of a cape sneaking out behind her, the suited, official looking man walking down the corridor and slipping into the office they’d just vacated.

It was only a moment later that she realised Batman was nowhere in sight.

Which made sense, when she thought about it. He really was extremely conspicuous wearing that get-up in broad daylight, so he would have had to work harder to get away unnoticed. That just didn’t help Lois with trying to find him now.

Lois soon realised the school kids she had fallen in step with were from the _other_ school, which was a helpful excuse when she finally made her way back to her own group. She spent much of the remainder of her time navigating the museum trying to figure out where Batman had gone, but to no avail. Escaping to scope out the Art Gallery had lost a bit of its shine after her own little escapade, not to mention the fact that Ms. Smits was watching her like a hawk for the rest of the tour.

It wasn’t until they were filing out of the museum to go to a late lunch that Lois remembered to take out her phone. In the excitement, she had forgotten to update SmallvilleGuy on Batman, after that quick text from the bathroom. She wasn’t surprised to find he’d messaged her when she signed into the app, but she didn’t expect quite so many.

**SmallvilleGuy:** You did?! How?

**SmallvilleGuy:** Was he at the art gallery too?

**SmallvilleGuy:** Or did something happen at the museum?

**SmallvilleGuy:** Are you okay?

**SmallvilleGuy:** I can’t find out online about anything happening in Gotham right now, so I’m hoping you’re okay.

**SmallvilleGuy:** Please message me.  <3

Lois bit down on a smile as she read his texts. She felt a little spike of guilt for worrying him, but she couldn’t help feeling a little fluttery at the way he’d signed off his last message.

**ScepticGirl1:** I’m okay, I promise.

**ScepticGirl1:** Batman was here, but not a lot happened – couldn’t get much information out of him actually.

Before she could type a third message, he’d replied:

**SmallvilleGuy:** You mean the great Lois Lane couldn’t get Batman to crack? I’m shocked.

Lois smirked, and did her best to ignore the way Maddy was studying her.

**ScepticGirl1:** Haha. I better go now before I get in trouble, but I’ll tell you all about it tonight.

**SmallvilleGuy:** Sure.

**SmallvilleGuy:** I’m really glad you’re alright.

**ScepticGirl1:** Thanks for worrying about me.  <3

She just caught sight of the reply as she was slipping the phone back into her bag.

**SmallvilleGuy:** Anytime. <3

 

After they got back from Metropolis, Lois and Maddy went straight to the Daily Planet office. Maddy was the only one with sufficient notes to type up a story, but Lois wanted to do some research and make a start on analysing the photos she’d taken in the hopes that they would provide her a clue as to what Batman really was investigating. She’d had a skim through them on her phone, but she thought the clues might be easier to put together when she could compare them better on screen.

Lois was in the middle of discussing the photos with Maddy and Devin, when her computer brought a pop up over one of the enlarged pictures, telling her she had a new email. Normally she would have ignored it, but the Subject line: ‘A favor’ intrigued her, so she clicked on the icon to open the email.

_Miss Lane,_

_I believe you offered to send me some photographs that you took today. If you would share your research with me, I might be able to return the favor with some of my own._

_B_

Lois grinned. Now, she had a story. 


End file.
